Please, I Need a Beach and Some Sun

I about blew up today when I got home from work.

I want a real vacation. One where you get to wear a slightly scandalous swim suit, have a frozen yummy drink with a little umbrella in your hand, you wear ridiculously huge sunglasses, a cute sun-dress, fabulous flip-flops, and the only care you have in the world at that moment is your tan line.

I want to look out and only see the ocean and dig my toes in the sand. I want to feel warm. I don't want to worry about work or church or this or that. I want to sleep in and stay up late.

I travel a lot now that I live away from my family. I have been to South Dakota, Colorado, and Denver. I also visit Utah a lot to be with Family and Friends. I love it. It has been so fun, but a lot of the time it can be less of a Vacation going to those places and more of just running around trying to get everything done because we are so rushed.

With my job, I have two weeks of Vacation time a year. However, my first year of work-- I have no time off and anytime I do take, I "borrow" from the time I get the next year. It is a little complicated how it all works out. The other part is I don't exactly get to say when I get to take my time. I have to wait for about 12 other people to pick what time they would like off before I get to pick when I go. On top of that, the list or calendar of who picks what days hasn't and probably won't come around to me for a month or two. And last but not least, I am required to take one consecutive week off from work. I can't just take a couple days here or there throughout the year. It is really discouraging sometimes.

The hardest part right now is hearing about everyone else and where they are going. It's not that they don't deserve it or anything like that, I am just flustered that I can't even try to plan something because I don't know when I would even be able to go. Even worse is the closest airport is kind of a joke to fly out of. It is such a bummer.

Learning the joys of being very last to pick and at the bottom of the Totem Pole sucks. I don't care if everyone has to go through it-- it sucked for them and it sucks for me.

Whatever though-- the bright side is I get to go sometime in the next year (I hope)! I also really am lucky that I have a job with benefits that I enjoy--even if some of them are bitter sweet. Maybe I will go tanning later to shake off these blues :)

Have you ever felt like you need to get far away, very far away and just relax??